Reviews of Helping Your Aging Parent
A worthy & useful companion, February 13, 2003
Reviewer: rebeccasreads (see more about me) from Clallam Bay,
WA United States
When William Grote approached me to review his new book I was elated,
at last someone who has done what I, as I was writing STANDING THE WATCH:
Memories of a home death, could not. Here he takes us through the maze
of understanding our parents' needs & wants, in a big book, with
a CD tucked into the back flap so you can print out the things you'll
need along the way.
When it comes to taking care of our parents, & by the millions, we baby-boomers are now facing this, most of us don't know where to begin. It is especially true if your parents have been independent & living on their own all your adult life.
I know well what William Grote means when he wrote: "Sooner or later most of us will have to step in and help our parents...being able to help...when they're truly in need is one of the most important opportunities you'll have in your lifetime. It's far more important than a promotion at work, or any personal achievement you may seek for yourself. It's a chance to get in touch with the meaning of why you're here, to become aware of the greater sense of your humanity, or even allowing you insight into your roles as a spiritual being." Page 6.
HELPING YOUR AGING PARENT is a worthy companion for everyone facing their parents' final years. It is reader-friendly, the cartoons are good for a giggle (you've got to hone your funny bone along with all your other skills!) & the information it contains, from health to economics, housing to hospice will be of immense use.
Very
well done!
Advice
for Taking Care of Parents, January 7, 2003
Reviewer: Denise Clark- author/bookreviewer from Covina, CA
Contacted by this writer for a book review of his guide to helping aging
parents, this reader was impressed by the amount of knowledge amassed
by author Grote in his effort to help those faced with the awful decision
of finding adequate care for the elderly. There has never been a greater
need for the type of book author William J. Grote has put together,
yet there comes a time when the information becomes essential to making
the best decision possible for our loved ones.
In Helping Your Aging Parent, Grote offers advice that ranges from visiting the doctor with your parent/s to finding a hospice to making funeral arrangements. And because this is such a difficult subject for many to face, it's easy to see why so many put these arrangements off until the last possible moment. Who really wants to deal with trust funds and living wills when it's the parent we're worried about? What about the stress involved in seeking a retirement home or nursing home when it becomes painfully obvious our parent can no longer function on his or her own? The issue of housing for the elderly is thoroughly covered in Grote's book, as are warnings and issues to watch for when exploring options.
Mr. Grote also deals with geriatric illnesses ranging from Alzheimer's to various stages of dementia, hospital care, hospice care and the struggle most children face when dealing with the fact that their parent needs additional care. This extremely well written and researched book gives the reader a road map of sorts to follow, a guide for what to watch for and how to deal with nearly every imaginable situation. Face it - this is, unfortunately, an unavoidable subject. But after reading compassionate and intensively detailed how-to care book, it is obvious that ignoring the issues of aging won't make them go away. This book offers hard-earned advice and experience in ways to make the transition as stress free for the parent as possible, while offering support for those that are left to make difficult decisions. This is a must reference for any household, for sooner or later, we're all going to have to deal with the issue of aging and elderly care within our family.
Mr. Grote, a worker in the publishing industry for a quarter of a century, decided to put this book together after having to face the reality that his own parent was showing signs of suffering from dementia. This guide is the result of many lessons, frustrations and hours of research.
Reviewer: Geoffrey Miszczak from Australia
Would you know
what to do or where to start if your aging parent was showing health
related problems that suggested things were not right? If you have an
aging parent you care
about then this book is a must.
It is an extremely
well researched book that provides very easy to read detailed information
on how to detect health problems with your ageing parent even if you
know nothing about
medical conditions, how to arrange medical care, accommodation, negotiating
legal and
administrative issues relating to your parent's assets and will, setting
up trusts, right up to
funeral arrangements. It really is a complete guide that will alleviate
the mysteries of how to
look after your aging parents. It even includes a CD-ROM with 27 forms
and checklists to
provide practical assistance! There are also a number of websites to
help out on identifying
which drugs to avoid.
This 'how to
do' guide is presented with compassion and reflects the reader's real-life
experiences. It provides all the information you will need to assist
your ageing parent.
I
highly recommend this book to anyone who cares about their aging parent/s.
A very small
investment in this book will provide enormous returns.
Reviewed
by: Judine Bishop Slaughter
Express Yourself Books
Description:
Sound advice and instruction
I am forty years old. My father is sixty-two.
He has an advanced stage
of glaucoma, diabetes (insulin twice a day), and he's feet are cold from
poor
circulation. He is independent, right now. But, we both know
the time is
slowly approaching, where I will have to take care of him. He doesn't
want
to talk about it, and neither do I. Am I alone? No, there are
many
Americans who will face this dilemma in the 21st century.
Helping Your Aging Parent alleviates some of fears in
the road to caring
for an aging parent. The worksheets, checklists, and forms guide you
through
the stages of dependency, to include: finding the best housing, surviving
the frequent hospital visits, and preparing for hospice, death and funerals.
The author's personal account provides a welcoming beacon down this
unfamiliar path. For example, there is sound advice for following
your
parent's instructions, if they should become incapable of making final
decisions. And, this time of life is not only about the aging parent.
Comforting information is also included to deal with your feelings.
William J. Grote learned the hard way, that aging can
be a sticky subject
for both the parent and the child. By fumbling through the health
care
system with his 80 year old mother, he gained valuable knowledge and
expertise. Helping Your Aging Parent is Mr. Grote's way of passing
the torch
along the path to your parent's aging process.
Reviewed
by: Jess Montgomery
Kaapa, HI
In
this very potent book the author takes a hard, detailed look at one
of the least discussed, yet potentially most overwhelming dilemmas one
will face. Topics include: The setting up of Trusts, Power(s) of Attorney,
Alternative housing options, and even hospice care and funeral detail.
The 2 most telling chapters are "Surviving the Hospital",
and "Dealing With Dementia," subjects rarely broached with
such candor. Many helpful and interesting websites are noted- (worstdrugs.com
and searchousing.net, to name two), and sample forms and checklists
one will find useful are included-( Nursing Home Evaluation Worksheet,
Sample Durable Power of Attorney, Sample Life Directive, etc), all of
which can be easily reproduced using the included CD-ROM.
That said, the real power of this guide is derived from the many personal
reflections by the author, who learned these truths first hand, in the
process of helping his own mother during the last years of her life.
While the title of the book may be "Helping Your Aging Parent",
the message is just as easily that of bringing absolute fulfillment
into one's own life. Everyone should read this book!
"This is the person who took care of you. Reversing that roll isn't
always easy- for either of you. It takes time to get comfortable with
the idea. Unfortunately, time may not be what you have."
Reviewer:
Midwest Book Review
Oregon, WI USA
Helping Your Aging Parent: A Step-By-Step Guide by William J. Grote is a superbly organized and highly accessible instructional reference and guide to determining when an aging parent needs help, to what extent one should step in and take charge, and presents easy-to-follow instructions and recommendations for the non-specialist general reader needing to navigating the legal and emotional maze of setting up trusts, power of attorney, finding the best and most affordable housing, surviving hospitalization, coping with mental disorders, nursing homes, and much more. An included CD-ROM contains 27 forms and checklists to help one sort through the book's information and put its advice to practical use. Helping Your Aging Parent is very highly recommended for anyone faced with the necessity of assisting their aged mother or father cope with the medical, emotional, financial, legal, and physical problems of old age.
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