Helping Your Aging Parent

There comes a time in everyone's life when they have to pitch in and be a caregiver of their aging parents -- but where do you begin? How do you take charge? Where do you leave off? How do you get other family members involved in the caregiving process? What comes next in the caregiving of your aging parents?

You may suddenly get a call in the middle of the night that your aging parent had a stroke and you’re needed right away. Or you visit your aging parent and the mess and squalor of their unkempt home tells you senile dementia may be taking over. How do you take an aging parent to the doctor? What questions should you ask? Do you need a living trust? Power of Attorney? What about housing options for elderly seniors? How can you evaluate a nursing home? How should you step in and help an aging parent who may not want or even appreciate your help? Where do you start? How do you get your brothers and sisters involved?

Helping Your Aging Parent may be one of the only guides available today that takes you step-by-step through the entire process of dealing with the responsibilities having an aging parent places on you. Much of what is written actually comes from the author’s own experience of taking on the care of his own parent, while maintaining a family and a busy career. The advice walks you and your aging parent through the health care, housing, legal, nursing home, and hospice systems. You'll find tips to help you avoid the pitfalls the author fell in as well as assurance when you are doing the best you can.

This book includes all the tools you’ll need to help you work on one of life’s biggest challenges — caring for an aging parent who may not appreciate, or even recognize your help. You’ll find down-to-earth advice on dealing with problems that occur at each stage of the experience. Includes a FREE CD-ROM with all the forms and checklists from the book. Open the forms you need with your word processing program, for either IBM-style or Macintosh computers. Change them to suit your needs, fill them out and print. Or open in Adobe Acrobat Reader and fill out by hand. Also includes links to valuable Websites for more information on each subject listed in the book. 160 pages, 8-1/2 x 11, $19.95.

Contents

1: How Do You Know Your Parent Needs Your Help?
Awakening to the Problem
Admitting the Need
How to Determine if there's Really a Problem
Parent Health Evaluation Checklist
Make Sure Your Parent Sees a Doctor
When to Step in and Take Charge
Family Enlistment Form

2: The Doctor Visit
Evaluating Your Parent's Current Health Care
Prescription Drug List
Prescription Drug Web Sites
Keep Your Perspective
Getting Background Information for the Doctor
Symptoms Observed and Questions Checklist
Family Medical History Checklist
Checklist of Things to Bring on Doctor Exam
Following Up After the Doctor Exam
Accepting the Results
Programs to Help Seniors

3: Signing Up For The Future
Trusts
Setting Up a Trust
Specialized Trusts
Who Needs a Trust?
Who Doesn't Need a Trust?
Power of Attorney for Health Care
Durable Power of Attorney for Finances
What Happens if Your Parent Won't Sign?
Life Directives
Sample Life Directive
Sample Living Will
Death Directives and Last Requests
Personal Information Fact Sheet

4: Housing -- Finding the Best Option for Your Parent
The Four Choices for Moving
Option 1: Moving Your Parent in With You
Building a Granny Flat
Option 2: Have Someone Come to Your Parent
Roommates
Rental Application Form
Live-in Care
Roommate Agreement Form
Website of National Organizations for Housing
Option 3: Foster Care
Option 4: Senior Apartments
Evaluation Checklist for a Senior Apartment
Option 5: Independent Living Retirement Homes
Evaluation Checklist for Independent Homes
Monthly Income and Expense Worksheet
Assisted Living Care
Personal Financial Worksheet
Option 6: Three-Part Care Facilities
Option 7: A Board and Care Home
Checklist for Residential Board and Care Facility
Living With Your Housing Decision

5: Surviving the Hospital
Getting Your Parent Admitted
How to Prevent an Adverse Event
Get to Know the Nurses
Drug Allergy Notice
Preventing a Drug Allergy
How to Prevent Bedsores
Privacy Notice
Surviving an Operation
Release From the Hospital
Dealing With Your Feelings
Studies on the Power of Prayer

6: Dealing With Dementia and Other Mental Disorders
Identifying Dementia and Other Mental Disorders
Most Common Types of Dementia
Warning Signals of Dementia or Mental Illness
The Doctor Visit
The Memory Test
Dealing With Doctor Denial
The Geriatric Assessment Evaluation
What Causes Dementia?
Nothing to Fear but Fear Itself
Learning to Live With the Stigma
Advanced Housing Needs
Dealing With the Decline
Communicating
Dealing With Wandering
Incontinence
Dealing With Angry or Agitated Behavior
Terminal or End Stage Dementia

7: Nursing Homes
When Your Parent May Need a Nursing Home
What Nursing Homes Do
Finding a Nursing Home
Nursing Home Checklist
The Secret State Inspection Report
Making Your Parent Comfortable
Handling Major Problems or Concerns
Attending Assessment Meetings
Assessment Meeting Questions
Helping With Rehabilitation
Nursing Home Expenses
Sources of Income
Asset Protection
Visiting an Asset Protection Lawyer
Visiting a Financial Planner
Nursing Home Alternatives
Don't Expect an Overnight Cure

8: Hospice, Death and Funerals
What is Hospice?
How do You Find a Good Hospice?
Hospice Checklist
Signing Up for Hospice
Sample Do Not Resuscitate Order
Changes That Appear as Death Approaches
Giving Permission to Go
Signals That the End is Near
The Final Moment
Getting Through the Details
Post-Death Checklist
Planning a Funeral or Memorial Service
Mortuary/Cremation Fact List

9: Using the Disk in the Back of This Book

Index

Answers To These Questions . . .

• What you can do to get action from your parent’s doctor?
  
  

• Does your parent need a Will or Living Trust?
  
  

• Why do you or a sibling need Power of Attorney?
  
  

• What housing options are available for older people?
  
  

• What’s the best way to plan for asset protection?
  
  

• How to find the best retirement home, board and care home, or nursing home, your parent can afford.
  
  

• How do you recognize and deal with the beginning symptoms of dementia?
  
  

• How can you prevent medical mistakes in hospitals?
  
  

• What is hospice and why is it so highly rated?

• How do you plan a funeral that your parent would want their friends and family to enjoy?

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